Hello, Fam!
We had a Zone Activity earlier today, so I'm emailing later than normal. Anyway, it's raining right now!! So you know how happy I am :) Actually the past few days we've had some "kidlad" (lightning) and "kulog" (thunder) these past few days in the later afternoon, but no rain until today. Actually, I've liked the lightning and thunder too though :) even without the rain.
How is everyone at home doing?? I miss you all! It's good to get everyone's emails and updates. Even when I can't respond, I'm grateful to everyone (family, friends) who email me. I read them all! Most of the time, I don't have time to reply, but I love being updated on how everyone is doing!
So I'll be sending a lot of pictures of the service we had the chance to do this last week. Last week we cleaned an catholic elementary school. This week we had a CSP in another public school...I think it was actually a high school though. It was across the street from Ususan Elementary school which is in mine and Sister Soliven's area. We waxed the floors...haha. And when I say waxed the floors...like really. We were on hands and knees, rubbing red wax into the floors of the school and then taking it off. I was so tired afterward haha but it was fun. Actually, the school was in a sad condition...I felt like we could have done something else to help it...but waxing the cement floors is what they wanted us to do. :)
So, we have an enthusiastic new investigator! Jason! He's 27. He's lived with his lolo (grandpa) in a province for most of his life so he grew up Born-Again. But within the last year, his grandpa passed away and so he moved here to Pateros with his mom and step-dad who are Catholic. I guess he isn't really close with them, and so he's been going to church with them, but he feels confused inside about the conflicting doctrines in the Born-Again and Catholic faiths. But he hasn't had anyone to talk about it to. Well he saw us on the road and saw that we were missionaries and stopped to talk to us. And he told us he was interested in meeting with us for lessons. And then he asked me a question that no other investigator had asked me before. He asked, "What is the reason why came out here and are serving a mission?" I was surprised that he asked me that. And then when I started to answer him, I discovered how strongly I felt about what I've gained in this church. I bore a really strong testimony...something that I wasn't planning on. And I remember just looking in his eyes and testifying boldly about how this gospel has influenced my life. And tears came to his eyes. After I stopped talking we were all quiet for a minute. And then he said, "Wow. Thank you."
We've taught him 2 times now. And we haven't been able to teach him at his house because he is scared that his step dad won't be happy to have Mormon missionaries there, so guess where we've been teaching him.... a cemetary. haha sounds a bit weird huh?? Actually malapit sa bahay namin, may lugar na tawag "Garden of Memories". It's a big huge cemetary but it's almost like a park. I've gone jogging there with Sister Velasco a couple of times, there are TONS of people there in the mornings, jogging or riding bikes, playing badmitton, etc. Anyway, Jason is just soaking in all the lessons and he came to church this last Sunday. So things are going great with him.
Can you believe it? This transfer is almost over?? June 3rd is transfer day. Ang bilis ng oras dito! I really really don't want to get transferred. I don't feel like my work is done yet in this area....however our leaders are a little bit concerned about my safety here in my area. I don't want to worry you mom haha, beacause i'm fine! but the talk is that I will most likely get transferred. I really really hope though that I don't have to be. I can see these investigators' potentials and I feel like my purpose here isn't yet done. But I know that our mission president is inspired, so whatever he says, I will be okay with.
So before I finish...I want to include something that actually happened a while ago...when I was still with Sister Velasco. But it's an experience that I learned so much from and something I will never forget...
I was sitting on a jeepney with Sister Velasco coming back to our apartment. No one was really talking as usual...and I suddenly remembered back to the very last day of class at the MTC with Brother Poole. He had put together a little "jeepney simulation" and we spent time role-playing about talking to people on jeepneys. I remember how strongly he bore testimony that these people in our paths every day--the people sitting next to us on the jeepneys--they have been placed there by the Lord so that they can have the opportunity to hear the gospel. So we need to TALK TO THEM! and I remember thinking at the time, "oh yeah. I am going to talk to EVERYONE. every jeepney I'll ever get on, I'll be talking to people and sharing the gospel an getting return appointments...etc."
But here I was...sitting on a jeepney...
silent.
and I began to look around me at those on the jeepney and I realized that they were all my brothers and sisters...and they were all lost. They were all lost from their Father in Heaven, they were lost from the knowledge of how they can return to live with their Heavenly Father again. They were all living...but they didn't know why they were really here. they didn't know that all of the burdens that they were carrying--all the battered-up bruises that life was giving them--could be healed and their sorrows could be relieved through Christ. But I had the answer. I could offer them a way back. I could offer them the sweetest joy. They were all living, unknowingly perishing in unbelief...because they didn't know where to find the truth. But I know! I have it! and I'm sitting right in front of them.
silent.
and my eye caught hold on one lone guy sitting across from me. maybe early 30's? I still remember him vividly...he had on a faded, worn-out pink t-shirt; old, steel-toe work boots; and light-denim jeans. He was holding a simple, well-used backpack on his lap. and suddenly, I was hit with the strongest impression to talk to him. I knew it was a prompting from the Spirit. and for me...that rarely happens that I recognize a spiritual prompting right as it happens. something was pressing me, urging me to OPEN MY MOUTH. and a started to panic inside. searching, frantically for something to say.
say something! say something!!!! but there I was...
silent.
My own, selfish fear was binding my tongue and I was frantic and anxious. My heart was pounding as the Spirit kept pressing on me and I racked my brain, trying to formulate some coherent sentence in Tagalog. panicking...hurrying... I opened my mouth...
but suddenly, he flicked the roof of the jeepney signaling to the driver to stop. and then...he was gone.
And I was silent.
And as the jeepney started again and I watched him walk away, tears came to my eyes. He is lost.
I can't even begin to describe the feelings of guilt and frustration that flooded me.
He desperately needed what I have. and I knew it. I was sitting right in front of him. We even exchanged a friendly smile. He saw me.
And I was silent.
And I let him go. and a horrible devastation just swept through me. I suddenly imagined..after the Second Coming of the Savior...and him walking up to me with sadness in his eyes, "You saw me. You knew... and you didn't tell me."
That's even my job!! I'm wearing the name tag! That's what I'm supposed to do!
And I was silent.
At that moment, I felt worthless.
And at that moment, I silently pleaded to God for my weakness. I apologized for my selfish fear. For my lack of faith. And I pleaded with him to please that that man have another chance. please place someone in his path who WILL open their mouths and give him the wonderful message--the beautiful remedy to all of life's aches, and ultimately the way to return back to his Heavenly Father. I'm sorry that I failed. That I wasn't good enough. But please don't let my mistake rob him of the opportunity for him to receive eternal life. I can't even describe the feelings that were suffocating me.
And at that moment, I vowed to my Father in Heaven that I would never ever fail to follow through on a prompting ever again. I promised Him that I wouldn't let another one of His precious children go like that again.
I have been trusted with this role. He has called me as a missionary and has put his trust in me. I am opening the doors of the Celestial Kingdom to these people here.
I promised Him that I would rid myself of my fear, and rid myself of my pride, and I will bring His children home.
That experience was hard for me. But I know I learned something that I will never forget. I am grateful for all of these experiences here that I'm having every day. and I'm grateful to be a missionary. I'm grateful for the patience that God has with me. And his forgiveness. That even though he has to work with me and all of my imperfections, he still loves me and trusts me anyway.
Well, that's all for this week. I love you all so very, very much!
MAHAL NA MAHAL KO KAYO! :)
Sister Oyler
